The Fourth Commandment

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."  (Exodus 20:12)

After a thorough study of the scriptures, the Reformers summarized what the fourth commandment means in this way: 

"We should fear and love God so that we do not despise or anger our parents and other authorities, but honor them, serve and obey them, love and cherish them."

The best way to understand this commandment and its explanation is to realize that God "does stuff THROUGH stuff." He uses the things He has created and established to create and establish new things. For example: He doesn't create men and women directly out of dirt and surgically removed ribs anymore, now He makes new men through human procreation. In the same way, He creates order in human society through the governments and authorities He establishes. And He establishes all the authorities. (Romans 13:1-7) The first authority that God places over every human being is his or her parents. You don't have to wonder about that: We all had to be born, and we all needed to be nurtured and disciplined. Our parents are the authorities that do this.

However, beyond our parents, there are teachers, policemen, governors, etc. As we get older and become increasingly independent of our parents' direct authority, we are more directly influenced by other authorities. For example: In America, when you are a "dependent" in your parents' household, you don't pay certain taxes; however, when you're "on your own" you do.

But just because we strike out "on our own" doesn't mean we aren't to continue honoring our parents. It just means that HOW we honor our parents has changed. Notice this: Parents raise us to leave home! They prepare us to live on our own and make God-pleasing decisions on our own. In a very real sense, living independently is what our first authorities desire for us. So we ARE honoring them as we live independent, God-pleasing lives outside their household